'Daily Dishonesty' typography by New York based graphic designer Lauren Hom - whose website, incidentally is called "Hom Sweet Hom". That is beyond adorable.
I love these so much. It's hilarious the things we say to convince others or just to make us feel better. Other favourites were "I'm not a Hipster" and "I Just Got Your Text".
"I'll be there in 5 minutes" is definitely me.
Visit the official Daily Dishonesty website here.